I was born in a pretty small town in the Midwest to a VERY religious family. I was taught about god and to be a faithful religious person. as I got older though I started to have questions that I could not shake, like "how can I be sure that the bible is gods word?" and "what if one of the other religions have it right and the quran or some other holy book is god word?" how can we know what we are supposed to do? I cannot accept on blind faith that the bible is gods word. so I did some research on how the bible became the book we know it as today. it took a lot of research to find the answer, seems like christianity does not like to talk about that subject. the answer was not very satisfying. See Here. I prayed, and cried, and prayed some more for answers. I went and asked my pastors and friends but no answers came. I finally concluded that the bible itself had the answer for me, 2 Thessalonians 3:2 "...for not everyone has faith."
At first I considered myself agnostic but as I got used to the idea I realized that I was really atheist. If there was a god he does not care if I worship him or not, if he did he would give me a clear sign. So I must conclude that either God does not exist or does not care about us. Now this realization caused a delima in my life, I used to have a purpose but now I did not. I had now higher power to account to. What does that mean? That I can do whatever I want? no morals? no accountability? I did not like that idea so I did some soul searching. All I really wanted out of life was to be happy.
So the question is what do I do to be happy? Can I just make myself happy? Will money make me happy? Do friends make me happy, alcohol, drugs? What do I really want out of life?